


shepherd the herd

by discombobulation



Series: life, God, and duty (where happiness doesn’t exist) [1]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Inaccuracies, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-09-14 15:59:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16915905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/discombobulation/pseuds/discombobulation
Summary: keep waking, and never forget from who or where you came.





	shepherd the herd

**Author's Note:**

> This... this was supposed to be a one shot that I was going to publish for Allen's birthday. It turned into much more than that. This story is constantly wiggling in the back of my head.  
> Updates will be... random. Since this was meant to be a one shot, not multi chapter, I'm reworking and completely rewriting some things. All in good fun; though I'm not sure if I should include a epilogue or not.

Silence thundered throughout the field as Exorcists stared at the carnage before them. Blood and dismembered body parts of akuma, littered with the bodies of Noah clansmen who fell to the traitor before them. Nea, wearing Allen's body like a well-tailored coat, was grinning wildly as he swung the Sword of Exorcism about, grazing the side of his final opponent. Neither side looked as if they were willing to give, viciously fighting for their own separate causes. Lenalee felt sick, watching her friend's body being used like a puppet for murder. She vaguely remembers getting hit by LuLubell before the Noah had died, but the pounding in her head made thoughts and movement hurt.

Since learning that she wasn't the Heart, Central had been pushing her to her limits, almost as a punishment for the time they wasted on her. Watching her precious friend's Innocence be used by a Noah without hurting him, she could almost believe that Allen was the Accommodator, and that it would kill the traitorous Noah once he killed the Earl. She blinked and looked up, accepting the hand Kanda had offered, leaning heavily on him.

She knew that watching Allen fight was hurting him almost as badly as her, not even mentioning the state they left Lavi in when they first got the sighting of thousands of akuma flocking to Portugal, the sight of the nearly broken eyes and smile that just wouldn't come haunting her eyes whenever she dared to blink to fend off nausea. The shouting had almost become unbearable as her head spun, the Generals ushering off Finders and Exorcists alike as the battle between enemies (brothers? father and son?) gained more traction, Allen getting cut along his chest, the Earl across the back of his knees. She glanced out of the corner of her eye, spying a flash of red and fearing that Lavi had followed them. Lenalee knew he probably would break at the state of his friend, hair matted with blood and dirt, his frame slight and slim from malnutrition. Once her eyes focused, she realized that maybe it would have been better if it had been Lavi. After all, the Bookman Jr. would heal from the sight Allen made. Watching as Cross's expression morphed from apathetic into agony, eye scrunching at the sight of Allen, eyes wild as he fought to do something he never would want to do, she felt a surge of sympathy for the antagonistic man.

She wondered if he was seeing the events from nearly 40 years ago.

( _She wondered if he regretted it, dragging innocent Allen into this fight_.)

There was a thud and a scream, and Lenalee jolted, eyes widening as she sees the Earl on top of Allen as she instinctually tried to join the fray, Kanda pulling her back quickly although she could tell that he wished to join too.

"Wait," he murmured, leaning close to her ear, "and watch." She took a breath, eyes closing as she inhaled and opening as she exhaled. She looked.

Allen was below the Earl, yes, but the Earl's own sword had missed, whereas Allen's... had not. She froze, watching as blood dripped onto Allen as he murmured something, smiling up at the Earl, before jerking his sword up, tearing him in two with a silent scream as all movement around the battlefield ceased. Kanda picked her up, cradling her as he moved towards the other Generals and Exorcists gathered. She watched out of the corner of her eye as Cross put a hand to his face, tilting his head up as Timcanpy nuzzled him. Nea had stood now, his position copying that of Cross's as blood dripped from him, Innocence still out and activated ( _oh how she wished that the monster would die from it, perish and return to her the friend that it had taken_ ).

"I wonder how we should proceed," Tiedoll said, setting a comforting hand on Miranda's shoulder as she shook. "This turned out much more favorable for us than I expected, but..." His words trailed off as everyone glanced at the still body of Allen Walker, rain starting to drizzle from the sky as tension began to build. No one spoke for a minute, pondering the actions they could take from this point onwards. The Generals knew that Allen's closest friends would urge for them to take Walker with them, ready to fight tooth and nail for the teenager to be acquitted and allowed to live the best life he could. They knew better, however, as did Lenalee and Marie. Central would either lock him away in a cell, hiding him away from the world and doing God-awful experiments, or immediately call for his execution and have him hung. Central would never let Allen go free.

"Hello, Exorcists. It seems like I've been neglectful of my duties as your host. My apologies." Nea called out, his voice soft and smug. "It seems like we must have a discussion, yes?" His smile was twisted, something that felt so wrong on someone like Allen's face. Kanda and Tiedoll stepped forward, eyes on the teen and hands on their Innocence.

Cross moved to flank the entire group, face impassive but tear streaks were clearly visible on his cheek. He makes an aborted motion to fully join the main group, but a hand gently grabbed his shoulder. Howard Link gently shook his head, making no move to pull him away, merely holding onto the older male. Timcanpy roosted on top of Link's head, his lips wobbling in tandem with the tears trailing down Cross's face. The ex-CROW's face was impassive, but Cross knew better; living on the road for months with the bastard that was fond of his apprentice resulted in some form of understanding. And he could tell, from the way his mouth was curved and shoulders hunched, protecting himself from the metaphorical blows that came with dealing with Nea. He couldn't help but wonder if Nea had broken Allen, the first known for his cruelty and the later for his compassion.

"Do you actually have something worth talking about, or should I cut you up with my Mugen?" Kanda asked, his eyes narrowed as they meet. Nea was observing them, all emotion cut from his face as Tiedoll stood slightly behind Kanda to act as support.

"Isn't it obvious, or does your Order teach you nothing? Your Innocence is still here because I am still alive. When I die to Innocence, all Innocence will disappear." His smile is bloodthirsty as he said this, but his eyes are different, almost like Allen is trying to communicate with them. "And little Allen Walker will never be able to see with his left eye again, and his heart will slowly torture and kill him. I figured a little warning will do my life-span some good. No hard feelings, hm?" Kanda stepped forward threateningly, but paused as a look of confusion overcame Nea, watching as his arm started aiming the sword at him.

"What the hell," Nea hissed, snarling, as the arm moved back, "do you think you are doing, Allen Walker!?" The sword met its home, Adam blood greeting Adam blood as they joined together before disappearing into nothing. His body seized, blood foaming at his mouth as his arm trembled. A flash of red blurred forward, catching the body of Allen Walker before it hit the ground, eyes rolled back into his skull.

"Goodbye, Nea," Cross murmured, standing swiftly as he cradled his apprentice, "but you were a piece of shit." He turned towards the other Exorcists, blinking as they watched Mugen disappear in a pile of green dust. A flash of gold swirled around his head before shooting off, Timcanpy shrinking into the sky. "I suppose its a good thing you were never a liar, just an idiot. But you never should have touched Allen, both then and now." His expression was somber and mourning, opposite of his usual drunken arrogance or jubilance. He felt the hot slick of blood soak his gloves, and fought against the memories that threatened to break through. It would do no good to dwell on the past; he did for thirty-five years and it is going to kill a brat that he never wanted to love, but he couldn't help himself.

( _He knew he was a hypocrite. He just hoped that he would finally get a break, that he could finally allow himself the one thing he's been denying himself for the past seventeen years. He hopes that he could make it up to Allen_.

 _He probably can't, but hope is the accursed four letter word that no man can deny_.)

"We need to hurry back," Cross said, burying the emotions threatening to break through as the boy in his arms slowly moves towards absolution, "otherwise Allen is going to die." That seemed to kick the shocked Exorcists into movement, Kanda going to Lenalee as Tiedoll gathers the shell-shocked Exorcists, dealing with Miranda's wailing with the help of Marie and the patience of a saintly father. Cross, ignoring this, had pulled Allen closer, walking forward with the confidence he usually carried, but it held an undertone of fragility, as if the thought of Allen's death was enough to send him over the edge. Knowing the man, Tiedoll thought, it probably would. Despite their - at best - strained relationship, they were dear to each other.

( _Lenalee, regretting for wishing for his guilt, had looked away from the duo, burying her face into Kanda's shoulder. Now that she had seen them at their worst, she thought she could bring herself to understand. You don't look that anguished for someone you don't love_.)

 

If Cross was a common dog, he would be frothing at the mouth and howling. He paced the confines of his room, snarling at any CROW that tried to get close to him and, subsequently, Allen. He can only be glad that Komui had found them first, and that somehow information regarding Allen had leaked, inspiring loyalty to the teen once more. And besides, even without his Innocence, no one wants to go against Cross; he still has his magic abilities. And Timcanpy, although the golem had seemed to taken residence back with Allen, nesting in his hair and crying pathetically, sobbing for his master, both past and present. It seems as if the agents' numbers were finally dissipating. Not trusting anything that ever had to do with the order, he wrapped his hand around the front of the cloak of the closest CROW he could grab.

"What's your orders?" He growled, brutally shaking the impassive man before him.

"We are to return to Central," the man answered, pulling Cross off of him and wiping himself down. "Do not think that we will not return for Allen Walker. He is safe until it is order for him to be disposed of." The man turned and joined the final CROWs disappearing, the door slamming shut behind them. Cross felt all the fight leave him all at once, falling into the couch and covering his face, the only noises being the hushed whispers from his room and the whimpers of Timcanpy in wherever he decided to nest in his mane of red hair. He pushed down his tears, swiping his hand down as he relaxed into the couch, eyeing the liquor sitting across from him. His stomach churned at the thought, and he moved his hand to his holster for Judgment, craving the comforting weight- ah. His hand hovered over the empty space, his Innocence not exempt from the disappearing act. He resolved himself to stay sober; fighting Central goons shouldn't be done drunk, especially when he is without any physical weapon. He relaxed further, closing his eye. He was exhausted, but he wanted to see if Link would return to Central, or stay here. But for now, he would relax and rest. He's going to need all the energy he could get to deal with the bullshit that will most definitely come in the next few weeks. His head is already pounding at the thought of it.

"General Cross?" A soft voice jerked him awake, eye snapping open as he sat up, turning towards the voice. He squinted, eye blurred before Link came into focus, the other sitting in an armchair opposite to him, holding a cup of tea to his face. His mask of impassiveness was gone, showing a tired face.

"Not much of a General anymore," Cross answered, relaxing back into the couch and fixing his clothes. He wrinkled his nose, craving a shower and a change of clothes, but he should deal with business first. "What are your orders, watchdog? Retreat with the pack, or pull your own as a lone wolf?" Link raised a brow at this, sighing before setting down his tea onto the table, pulling his hands back into his lap. Cross almost chuckled, the gesture so normal that it couldn't be anything but humorous in the awful situation they had found themselves in. He watched as the ex-Crow nearly slouched into himself, face grim.

"No, I am to stay here." Link said, rolling his eyes at the petty dig. "My mission is to protect Allen Walker and the 14th. Now that Lvellie is gone, I have no remaining loyalty to Central, and I will carry out my final mission."

Cross tilted his head, humming. "Mighty altruistic for a CROW. But you were never designed to be one, weren't you?" He turned a knowing eye onto the blonde, effect ruined by Timcanpy flying out of his hair into his face, biting at Cross's cheek. He suffered this with well-meaning patience, too used to the golem's shenanigans to be anything other than fond for it. "On another note, does Komui have any updates on Allen? I have some... concerns. And I want my room back, I need to change and shower all this shit off of me."

Link sighed, a soft smirk making itself known. "You know, you can just say that you're worried about Allen, you know." His face turned serious. "There hasn't been any updates yet regarding his condition but... I think we will be updated soon. It sounded like they were getting ready to clean up. You've only been asleep for an hour." At this, Cross sighed, pulling the golem off his face fondly before brushing back his red hair, covering his forehead and eye with his face. What a shifty situation. "Although I do agree with you requiring a shower, your odor is quite offensive."

Cross uncovered his eye to glare at the ex-detective, opening his mouth to retort but instead startled, coughing as Komui opened his bedroom door with a slam, catching both males off guard with the noise. Link flicked his knives out of his sleeves, and Cross rose with a dark expression, drawing to his full height in an attempt at intimidation. His expression lightened when he saw it was Komui, but Cross still moved forward, leaning over the male.

"Well?" He hissed, "What's his status?" Komui sighed and nodded, his usual boisterousness toned down and replaced with an almost broken man. He motioned for the two to seat themselves, stealing the last remaining arm chair and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and interlocking his fingers.

"The situation isn't good," Komui murmured, eyes hooded. "He's severely malnourished, but with Innocence gone it will be easier for him to gain and maintain weight, which is lucky since we still have some semblance of consciousness. He reacted somewhat to Johnny, so we're hoping that we can find multiple people that he will be able to surface with. His mind is extremely damaged from the 14th, and that's not even counting the injuries from his fight and his missing arm. His curse also reverted into a normal scar with a blind eye, although his hair had curiously reverted into red, only the ends remaining white." Cross narrowed his eyes at the man, noting the almost nervous ramble. Komui seemed to get even more nervous with his gaze, before sighing and his shoulders collapsing under the hidden threat. "His... his heart situation is extremely concerning. He cannot move himself, and too much motion makes him cough blood. Johnny has heard of a surgeon in America that was successfully able to repair a heart and have the patient live, so we're looking for ways to contact him and get him here without alerting Central to our activities."

"And what if they do?"

Komui sighed. "Then Allen will likely die sooner than any of us want. That's why we need to find a safe-house to move him to. Many people have gained back their trust in him, but we still have traitors and dissenters from other branches. He should stay in Europe, or in Asia with Bak if things get messy here. That's why were going to host a meeting here with everyone and find out who is the best to keep with Allen at a safe-house and here until we are able to smooth over all the ruffled feathers." Cross huffed, shaking his head.

"Ungrateful bastards. Is he asleep?" Komui nodded, watching Cross with an indistinguishable look. "Good. I'm going to shower and change, then keep watch. You have Head Nurse come in here and finish patching him up. Link, take guard duty." Both men nodded their consent, a satisfied look coming onto Cross's face. "As you've already decided where we'll host the meeting, I'll decide when. Tomorrow, at the break of dawn. None of our parasitic Exorcists will be able to attend, but I think that they will do better work here, trying to con more people to sympathize with Allen than trying to take care of him." He turned and walked away from the men, missing the look that they exchanged before each taking their leave, letting Cross do his business without an audience.

( _He will never say it, but he appreciates it. He's always been shit at apologies. That's how this whole mess started, isn't that right Nea, Mana?_ )

He approached his room, took a breath, and entered. And the sight of Allen's meek body almost made him turn away and retreat back into the other room. He was a little surprised at the change of hair, but he knew the inner workings of curses better than anyone at the Order. ( _He still found it funny that the Order still thought that Maria was an Innocence instead of a dead Accommodator, but that's a secret for him and the past_.) Allen's hair is redder than he thought it would be, but the deep fiery red fits much better than the limp auburn he once had. It felt truer to him than anything. But it worried him; red meant Red, and while he could deal with Red, he had no doubt that Red would lose them their allies purely on accident due to his nature. He grimaced, hoping that it wasn't a fluke with Johnny and that the much more tolerable personality was left behind.

He moved closer to the boy, eyeing the wide scar that had replaced his curse mark. It seemed as if Mana had reopened it in their fight, the wound still weeping beads of blood. He took in a breath, turning away from Allen and moved mechanically towards his closet. A hot shower was awaiting him, a change of clothes, and then a meeting. Not battles in the traditional sense, but definitely battles in the sense that Allen's life is on the line.

( _His hatred for the Order grows everyday. None of them were supposed to turn out like this; not Mana, not Nea, and especially not Allen_.)

Oh well, you live a day after the fights you win, and live none after the fights you lose.

 

Kanda felt his eye twitch as he held back a snarl of anger. Maybe he would be able to deal with Two-Moles if they were alone, the man losing a lot of his... repugnant traits that came with being the right-hand man to Lvellie. Maybe they would even get along, if Lotto would just stop sobbing and shitty Two-Moles would just let him in so he could see the fucking Beansprout. He felt Lenalee grab his arm, even as she whispered comfortingly to Lotto.

"Let us in, Two-Moles," he growled, staring at the impassive blond before him.

"I'm afraid I cannot," Link said, sighing at the mess of Exorcists in front of him. "Cross specifically asked me to not allow anyone inside until the meeting before dawn, which I'm sure you all were informed of via golem." He should probably feel bad for lying to Allen's friends, but he could tell that Cross was barely holding it together. Too much past for one to carry by himself, he thought. He made eye contact with Lenalee, the only one who seemed to realize why he's denying them. After all, she was the one who saw Cross when he cradled Allen to his chest. He just hoped that she would be able to tame the fire before them before others not in the know or against Allen found them. He's sure that they tried to quarantine the area, but angry people are almost as slippery as evil people, and just as capable of causing serious harm. "Besides, I believe that everyone should find Komui and get equipped with weapons before we meet. It will be dangerous for anyone who sympathizes with Allen to exist here, where traitors will easily be able to hurt or kill you."

That seemed to finally catch Lenalee's attention, the girl's eyes widening slightly. "Link is right, Yuu. And Miranda will need to be briefed on how to hold a weapon, so can you take her? Brother has already given me my weapon, but I know that he was making something special for all Exorcists that would be similar to their Innocence. I'll stand guard with Link, and make sure that nothing happens here." She made and held eye-contact with Kanda, until he deflated slightly and groaned.

"Fine," he said, "but the minute something goes wrong, I will ditch her," at this, he motioned to Miranda despite Lenalee's frown of disapproval, "and come straight back here." He turned and walked away, Miranda whimpering out a goodbye before sprinting after him, begging him to wait for her. Lenalee nodded, amusement falling from her face as she turned to return eye contact with Link.

"How is he?" She asked softly, moving to stand next to him and looked forward into the hallway. He noticed tears starting to form, but wouldn't mention it. "I tried asking brother when he gave me my new weapon but... he just brushed me off. I tried asking Johnny too, but he just started sobbing like he did when he learned about Suman." Her voice started choking up, getting tight with emotion. "What's going to happen to Allen? Am I going to lose another friend to this war, or will Central forcefully pull him away from me, stealing his life for their own gains?"

He shifted where he stood, eyes running over the empty, drab walls, searching for shadows that weren't natural. "Komui is optimistic for his recovery but..." he said, trailing off slightly to take a breath. "He will die if he stays here." He continued on, ignoring her sharp inhale that sounded like a sob. "Central will not take long to retaliate, which is why we are moving him to a safe-house despite how dangerous it is to move him now. And we need to find someone who he responds to well enough to gain and maintain weight, as well as protect him. Komui is trying to find a way to ship in a surgeon from America that may be able to save him from his own heart, but the chances will slip away the longer it takes. And the curse being removed with the death of the Earl has left him blind with an open wound on his head that could get severely infected if not handled properly. Notwithstanding, he already has enough on his plate without having to mention how close he is to traitors that won't be afraid to try and hurt him to get recognized by Central, or people who believe that he is nothing more than a Noah sympathizer that helped their cause only to kill them for glory."

Lenalee shuddered as she took it all in, grieving deeply for her friend who isn't dead, but may be better off dead. She finally moved to wipe at her face, flicking off tears almost mechanically. "What of Cross?"

He blinked in surprise, tilting his head. "You are the last I expected to ask after the well-being of the General, Miss Lenalee, but I suppose it is understandable." He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. "I'm afraid that if Allen dies, the man may break." He ignored her sharp intake of breath. "He is deeper in this than even Allen, both emotionally and knowledge-wise. I cannot imagine the mental strain he will be under if he is not allowed to help with him, even if it is as a guard."

Lenalee nodded at this, her tears having cleared up and leaving behind a stone-cold mask as she took up a defensive position. "Well then, it is our duty to protect them both, is it not?"

Noticing what had set her off, he shifted his stance, blades falling into his palms, ready to attack. "That it is, Miss Lenalee. I do hope that you treat this as serious as you would if this was an official mission." She smirked at him, raising an eyebrow. "And pardon my asking, but what's your special weapon?"

Lenalee dashed forward swiping the heel of her boot against a man's throat, a wide red line following the angle of her kick. "Why, Link, I would have thought you would have it figured out," she said, flicking her ankle and something flashed in the light. "Brother had gifted me the prettiest pair of boots made from the skin of venomous snakes. The heel is a bit sharper than what Dark Boots were, but they're quite comfortable and trendy, don't you agree?"

Link moved forward, grabbing the body of the man and tossing him out of the window. "They are, Miss Lenalee. Your brother has great tastes in presents for you. It will be a pleasure to work with you, I'm sure."

 

The room was too small for this many people, Lavi decided, resting back into his wheelchair as people wearing expressions much too grim and somber for who they were discussing. Allen would hate seeing this many people upset for him, and would apologize and take fault even if it wasn't his. Everyone would protest and Yuu would threaten to fight him for being an idiot, but that would mean that Allen would be okay, not laying half-dead on a bed, breaths ragged as he viciously clung to life with the same passion that he put into everything in he did. Looking around, from the stoic face of Marie to the ill-concealed impatience on Yuu's, it felt more like a funeral than a discussion to keep one of Lavi's closest friends safe. The burn of Bookman dying for him hurt worse, but Allen was someone he could actually help. He pushed down the sorrow as Cross stepped out of the room that Allen rested in, Komui next to them as all those they could trust were gathered. He narrowed his eye, wait, where's...

"Where's Chaozii?" He asked, turning to Lenalee in confusion.

"Hush, Lavi," Lenalee murmured, "brother will explain everything." He wrinkled his brow in confusion, already opening his mouth to question her but was cut off by a cough from Komui.

"As we all know," Komui said, his face pinched, "Allen Walker is in an extreme condition, and it is not safe to house him at the Order until we are able to dissuade Central. We've already lost one Exorcist, Chaozii, due to an attempted assassination attempt against Walker. That's why I propose we-."

"Wait," Kanda interrupted, holding a hand up. "Before we talk about the Beansprout we need to know the facts." He turns to Cross, glaring and already having a hand propped onto his new sword. "That means it's time for the illustrious General Cross to grace us with the information he's been holding back since day one." Cross just raises an eyebrow at this, swirling a glass of wine that looks like it hadn't even been touched.

"Do we really need to?" Miranda muttered miserably, clutching to the hand Marie had offered her when he noticed just how shook up she really was. "We won, even if it doesn't feel like it. Should we really anger the past by bringing it up?"

"Yes, we should," Lavi said, shaking his head. "If we win a war that we don't even know the causes of, what was the point of waging it? Even old Bookman records don't have a cause for the war cited, which is extremely bad news for all of us. I agree with Yuu, we really need the information General Cross has to make sure that we understand what exactly we were fighting against." He smiled at Komui, hoping that he would let the scientist out before the leader. This was information he greatly needed, and even morsels at this point would help him establish his name as successor as well as understand why Bookman got so involved.

Komui wilted underneath the attention, turning his head to look at Cross. "Only if the General is comfortable with disclosing it. I will not force him to answer if he cannot bring himself to."

Cross sighed and rolled his eyes, leaning backwards. "It's more of a tale than an explanation, but I suppose I could tell it for free. Listen closely and remember, Junior Bookman. This could be the story you need to prove yourself to the Clan." He took a breath, pulling up memories that were buried in a shallow grave. "It started forty years ago, when I had just turned eighteen..."

 -

_Bright eyes looked around the cramped street, a tall man with long, fire red hair perusing the newest town he's found himself in. He was enchanted by the freedom of the people, everyone whispering of blessings from the Lady Campbell if paid enough coin. A little more, and they'll whisper about her mysterious twins, how none knew of her pregnancy and of her husband's disappearance nearly twenty years prior. Really, it was the perfect town to hide from Central and his master in. It seemed that people who came looking for trouble find themselves missing the town or just disappearing, whereas asylum seekers raved on and on about the delights and friendliness of the people._

_'However,' they would grin, eyes wild, 'you have to meet the Lady and her sons. People who linger for too long without permission are treated just like those troublemakers.' He took that advice quite seriously; Ladies and Lords have the potential for cruelty, and the potential to make it look like they were doing it to protect. Something still itched at him, however. Something about the eyes, or the too wide smiles. Almost like clowns in a performance. But a performance for who? For what?_

_And yet, he still finds himself on the winding path to the Campbell Residence, in awe of the natural beauty around him. There was a field, yet no crop. A forest, yet no lumber workers. There were no signs of life once town became property, but everything looked meticulously maintained and fresh._

_The itch became frenzied. The urge to flee was almost overwhelming, but he couldn't go back to Central, couldn't go back to a cell and only be released if he and Judgment would be useful. He's chafed and chafed and fled when he had the chance. And he refused to return to that life, even if it would kill him._

_-_

_"_ You and I are alike in that aspect, Lenalee," Cross murmured, fingers interlocked and his wine sitting forgotten on a table. "I was forced into the Order when Judgment found me when I was even younger than when you were brought here. I hated the Order, and did anything in my power to defy them, be it learn illegal magic or banned sciences or even commiserate with and befriend the Noah Clan, actively helping them work against the Order." Everyone in the room sat in shocked silence, looking either at Cross or into their laps. Lenalee, for the first time since meeting the man, felt some sort of kinship to the man. She wondered if she would have turned out like the man, if she didn't have Kanda or her brother. She found that she could barely stomach the thought.

"Continue, General," Komui said, reaching his hand out and interlocking it with Lenalee's, not meeting her gaze as he watched the redhead.

 -

_Lady Katerina was an average height, willowy women with the presence of that could enrapture the attention of everyone in the room. Cross could see why she was so beloved by the people in the town, and also how she easily could dispose of people she deemed unworthy. There was a other-worldly look in her eyes, almost as if she didn't quite belong with humans but stayed because it was all that she knew. Cross found himself intimidated and comforted by her presence. He imagined that she would be what a mother would feel like, warm but fierce and stronger than anyone would ever give credit for. But alas, she was still a Lady and he still must treat her as such._

_He bowed, "Lady Campbell, my apologies for disturbing you at your home. My name is Cross Marian. I was informed by the townspeople to ask yourself if there is any possibilities of me being able to seek asylum?" He couldn't help but feel as if she was testing him, eyeing the mask covering the side of his face and mane of red hair. He refused to get up from his bow, determinately not looking up at her, eyes stuck staring at the ground. He flinched as he felt her gently pet his hair, hand coming to cradle his jaw as she gently tilted his face up for him to look at her._

_"Stand_ , _young_ Marian _," she said, offering him a gentle smile. "Of course I will allow you to seek asylum in my town. You are welcome to stay in my home, but please, just call me Katerina."_

_"...Lady Katerina, I couldn't impose on you. I'm sure your family would prefer for me to stay in town."_

_She just shook her head, fondly with a soft laugh. "My boys are around your age, I am sure they wouldn't mind the company. They can be standoffish at first, but I am sure that they will enjoy having you around. They don't get around enough and I worry for them. And I would feel horrible if I just left you without any protection." Her eyes glittered with knowledge, and Cross couldn't help but submit himself to her demands. "However, I must ask you to leave that weapon in your room. I wouldn't want to frighten my boys, and there's no need for that here. We are safe." Cross nodded as he followed after her and a maid, memorizing the winding halls that led to the room he would be staying in._

_He looked around the grand but plain room, appreciating the care that obviously went into maintaining the house. He turned to Katerina, "Thank you, my Lady. I appreciate all you are doing for me."_

_She just smiled, letting him take her hand and kiss it. "Oh, it is the least I could do for a lost child. I am sorry, but I must require for you to eat with myself, my boys, and my brother. It is tradition, and it would be awfully rude if we excluded you. Dinner is served at seven o'clock sharp. Do not be afraid to clean up and make the room yours. I will send Maria," she motions to the small maid standing behind her, "to fetch and guide you to the dining room. Are you allergic to anything, have any food that you distaste?" He shook his head, steamrolled. "Good news, good news. Enjoy your stay at the Campbell Residence, Cross Marian."_

_Cross looked around the room in wonder. It was warm, despite its sparseness, something he's never experienced. The rooms at the Order could be filled with all the lavish things in the world, but they would never feel as genuine as this simple room that he found himself in._

_Setting his bags on the bed, careful to avoid making it messy, he looks around and stretches. Maybe he will shower, he has been running and hiding for weeks to make it here without being tracked by the Order. And he should make a good impression on these human-hating twins. It wouldn't do for them to grow bored of him before he could get the answers he needed. He had thought, coming in, that Katerina was the one responsible for the deaths and insanity of those who caused trouble, but he has a sinking feeling that she just enables the true troublemakers._

_He sighed, head starting to pound. Time for a shower, then, he thought, rubbing his temple as he moved into the bath. No more thinking for the moment, at least._

_He was sitting on the bed, combing through his hair and paging through one of his banned books that he stole right from under the Order's nose, containing information regarding the construction of creatures with autonomy and free-will, when Maria had knocked on the door to the bedroom. He marked the page, closing it as he set his comb down, moving towards the door._

_"I presume it's time for dinner, then?" He asked, looking down at the small woman before him. She nodded motioning for him to follow as they walked through the halls, the sounds of voices getting louder as they get closer to the dining hall._

_Maria opened the door, bowing. "Lady Campbell, Lord Campbells, I present to you your guest, sir Cross Marian," she said, moving to let him enter. He did, bowing just as Felicia did, hair falling around his face like flame. He felt eyes on him, which only served to unnerve him. They were much more demanding than Katerina's, colder and calculating where hers were warm and soft._

_"Oh dear, I completely forgot to mention you dear," Lady Katerina said with a wink, motioning to the spot next to a rather rough looking older gentleman. "Come sit next to my brother, Marian. Cyrus, this is Cross Marian. Cross Marian, this is my brother, Cyrus Campbell. My sons haven't yet arrived for dinner, likely caught up in their lessons." Cross nodded, sitting in the chair next to the older man. The dining room was silent as Maria came forward and poured him wine, the rich red color matching his_ _hair in its vibrancy._

_"I was confused why sister dear had chosen this drink, but I suppose I can see it now," Cyrus murmured, looking at Cross from the corner of his eye. "Please, try it. It is made from local apples, as well as pomegranate and plum oils, with sprigs of red dahlia preserved in birch. It's quite delicious, wouldn't you agree?" Cross nodded, taking a small sip of the deep red drink._

_Suddenly, the door to the dining room slammed open, a male with long hair storming through, a pout visible on his face. Suddenly, he drew to a stop, face clearing of all emotion as he sees Cross. Cross stares back, surprised, wine glass still at his lips. A sneer formed on the unknown male's lips._

_"Now I know why Nea didn't want to come," the man said coldly, eyeing Cross with distaste. "He's always been able to smell bad blood much better than I."_

_"Mana," Katerina scolded, eyes dark. "Hold your tongue. You will not say such improper things about our guest." She turned to Cross, an apologetic smile on her lips. "My apologies, Marian. When they're surprised, my boys have a tendency to forget their manners." Cyrus snorted, completely unaffected by Mana's abrupt entry. "Please, do forgive them."_

_He nodded, "Of course, Lady Katerina, I do not find fault with him. It is my fault for coming so suddenly." He turned to Mana, a polite smile of his face as he bowed his head minutely. "Lord Campbell, I apologize for my sudden presence. I am Cross Marian. The Lady Campbell has granted me asylum for the time being."_

_"It's a pleasure meeting you, Marian." A voice similar but different to Mana's spoke. "I am Nea, and this is Mana. I apologize for my older brother, he reacts poorly to surprises." A man moved from behind Mana, showing a mess of wild hair and a shark-like but polite smile on the same features._

_"Nea, Mana, sit. You've delayed dinner enough with your shenanigans," Cyrus scolded, eyes on his glass. "It reflects poorly on your mother with her guests if you don't bother to control yourselves." Nea's grin turned bloodthirsty and Mana's face twitched into some unknown anger, before they both gave polite smiles, schooling their expressions as they sit to the right of Katerina, Mana next to her and Nea in front of Cross_.

-

"We don't have forever, Cross," Kanda snapped, irritation obvious. "Can you get on with it?"

"Kanda," Lenalee scolded quietly, ready to berate him.

"It's fine, Miss Lenalee. I suppose only Allen would be interested in the full story. I'll explain myself more simply," Cross murmured, hunched over as he smoked a cigarette, Timcanpy chasing the smoke. "I stayed with the Campbell family for five years. I became a brother to Mana, but I was closer in a different way to Nea. I also became close with Maria, who became something like my keeper and sister, and later, Allen, a junior Bookman on the run who also came to stay with the Campbells."

"What!" Lavi spluttered. "I know Bookman are supposed to be unbiased, but why would he go to them? Why would he even run in the first place? Being a Bookman is honorable and respectable, I don't understand-."

"He wasn't born to be a Bookman." Cross interrupted. "He loved science and magic the same as Bookman then, and he was nonjudgmental, but despite being born to the Clan, he was never meant to join their ranks. He escaped so someone who wanted and could do it could take his place, but they were determined. He was one of the last pureblooded children, but he didn't want anything to do with that legacy, said that since he was a new soul it made the task harder. It was my second year there, so he would've been... sixteen, give or take, when he came to us." Lavi stared in shock, looking down at the floor as Johnny held his shoulder. "Can I continue now?" Cross asked irritably, rolling his shoulders. "I'll keep it simple for the rest, but there will be some things that will take time to explain." Komui nodded, and Cross took a breath.

"Allen and I experimented together, creating life by combining magic with science, and testing Innocence on certain objects. Nea and I... were almost constantly together except for then. He didn't like the experiments, said we were going against God with them, that man shouldn't be allowed to manipulate or create life by unnatural means. Maria couldn't stay long with us, she still had housekeeping duties and such. Mana, however, was fascinated by our experiments, and was closest with Allen. He drew us in and was the glue for us. Katerina, and even Cyrus, loved us all like we were their own, and we felt like we were finally in control. That was, until the Bookman Clan finally found him. That was when everything went to shit." He smiled, the look twisted and gruesome. "Absolute shit."

 -

_Mana had hurt Katerina, Allen was gone, and he, Nea, and Maria were locked in Mana's room with the dead body of Cyrus. He held Maria close as she sobbed, Timcanpy nuzzling her in his way of comfort when he wasn't crying for Allen. Nea was carefully tending the Lady lying in Mana's bed, her hair a halo around her pale face. He glanced at the dead body of Cyrus, letting a prayer slip through his lips as he stood, dislodging Maria from him. Timcanpy grew in size, letting the distraught woman cling to him as Cross closed Cyrus's eyes, before lifting him and setting him inside Mana's closet, away from sight. He moved to Nea, wrapping his arms around the other's waist and resting his chin on Nea's shoulder._

_"How is Mother?" He asked, voice soft and unusually timid. His personality had grown more fiery the longer he stayed, growing under the gentle care he never received before he came to them._

_"She will live," Nea said, voice carefully blank. "I don't think Mana was looking to kill her, but he definitely wanted to incapacitate her." Cross just nodded, turning Nea around to hug him gently._

_"Don't worry," he promised. "We all will live, and we will find Allen, and Mana will return back to normal. I promise."_

_Nea shook_ _his head. "You can't promise that. I... I think that fate has something different in mind for us." His expression turned dark. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you this sooner, but now I have to tell you now. Mana and I are Noah. He's been collecting other Clansmen while looking for Allen, saying he was going to take care of Exorcists and Bookman for good this time. I don't think Mana is even Mana anymore." Nea looked at Cross solemnly, eyes betraying nothing. "What I need you to promise me is that you won't die before we meet again."_

_"I promise."_

 -

"And what good that promise did me," Cross chuckled dryly, eyes blank. "Maria and I escaped with Nea's permission, but Mana broke his fingers for it, ruining them. He was a musician, and was insanely prideful of his piano skills. Mana taking that from him caused his own complete Noah transformation. He slaughtered a majority of the Clansmen before he was fatally injured, fleeing into the town to prolong his execution. That's when Allen found him, and used oath-magic to bind their souls together until Nea could get his revenge. Then, Allen disappeared and Nea was slaughtered." He laughed wetly, and everyone realized that he was crying. "Maria died in battlefield ten years after, and she used her own skills in magic to allow me to manipulate her corpse, thus being able to use her Innocence. And there you have it. The entire fucking story of the Traitors."

"There's one thing I don't understand," Lavi said, eyes furrowed. "If your Allen made an oath with Nea, how could our Allen have killed him without dying?"

"Didn't you pay attention, Bookman? He only promised until his revenge was taken. Of course, such specifications mean nothing if he won't be able to live his own life afterwards."

Komui nodded, "That's enough, General Cross, you've said enough. I only want Lenalee, Lavi, Kanda, Cross, Link, Johnny and I to try first with Allen. We all are the closest with him, and if we can get him conscious, I don't want to overwhelm him." Everyone nodded, everyone who Komui didn't mention leaving the room, Marie comforting a sobbing Miranda the best he could. Everyone stayed seated, looking at Komui with ranging expressions from confused to indifferent.

"To be honest," Komui said softly, "I already have a feeling on who I'm going to send. But, that's not why we're staying here for the moment. We need to discuss where Allen will go before we see him, to make sure that our emotions don't cloud our judgment further."

"We aren't going to use Order safe-houses?" Johnny asked, leaning forward in confusion. "Why?"

"Don't you get it, you idiot? Central will know all the safe-houses the Order keeps, it would be impossible to hide for long if we stay there," Kanda said, scowling at the scientist. "Does anyone have any good ideas where to bring the Beansprout?"

Lenalee and Link shook their heads, Lenalee responding, "All the places I know are known by Central."

Cross hummed, "I suppose we could take him to Mother's, and then Campbell Manor when he heals enough to travel that far."

Komui tilted his head, "I vaguely remember Allen mentioning Mother, but who is she to you? Is she trustworthy?"

Cross shrugged, letting Timcanpy eat the cigarette out of his hand. "Mother and her help, Barba, assisted me in taking care of Allen when his curse caused him to completely shut down. She's also my patron, when she knows if I'm actually alive. I haven't sent her any debts, so she might be worried."

Lenalee brightened. "I remember Mother," she said. "She would try and hide it, but she is fond of Allen, as is Barba. I'm sure they'd love to see him again but..." Lenalee looked around. "Would she have enough space to house more than two of us?"

"That's not a problem," Komui quickly assured, placating Lenalee. "I'm keeping two of you here to assist in weeding out traitors, as well as deliver the surgeon to Allen when he arrives. However, I am unsure about the Campbell Manor. Is it safe there?"

Cross shrugged. "If Katerina is still alive, it will be. If she isn't, the town will likely be deserted. That was Adam's home, so it would likely have been overran with Akuma before their defeat. And since their property is surrounded by forest, anyone who doesn't know the trail won't find the house. And I'm the only one left, unless Allen retains Nea's memories or regains his previous memories." Everyone froze at that, looking at Cross with uncertainty.

"If he still has the memories from Nea, wouldn't that mean that the Noahs can still be revived?" Link asked quietly, ignoring the quiet shriek Johnny let out. "Without Innocence, we have no way of fighting back if the Noahs return."

"No, Noah memories require a regeneration period usually. This incident only happened because there were complications with the regeneration of Adam, the Earl." Cross raised his eyebrow, confused. "What do you mean, Innocence is gone? That's a foolish notion. The Heart, and Apocryphos, those will never fade. They stay active throughout the ages, though I wonder..." Cross trailed off, a frown overtaking his face. "Now that I think about it, Apocryphos was chasing after Allen during this whole mess. I am unsure if he will continue his chase now that the Noah are gone. And now that we don't have his Innocence to warn us, he will likely catch us off guard if he does come." He muttered, rolling his shoulders before standing. "Whatever, we'll deal with that when it happens. Right now, we need to find out who will actively be guarding my idiot apprentice, and who will stay here. You wanted us to do it in a specific order, Komui?"

Komui blinked, standing up while flailing. "Ah yes, I had nearly forgotten! Lavi, I want you to go first. You all also have the decision to have us with you in the room, or by yourself, however it will have to be the same for everyone."

They all looked at each other, Cross lighting another cigarette.

"We don't care if we are all in there," Lenalee said, speaking for her, Kanda, Lavi, and Johnny, "but what about you, Cross? Link?"

"I don't give a shit," the general muttered, inhaling deeply and fending off Timcanpy with one hand.

Link nodded, "I agree. It will also be easier to observe Walker's mental state if we all are in the room."

"Great!" Komui said, motioning grandly towards the door. "I must request that we remain quiet." He held the door open, allowing Lavi through before following after. Cross was the last, reluctantly putting out the cigarette and letting Timcanpy get it before sighing, entering the room and shutting the door tightly. He casted a warding charm. Something didn't feel right.

 

"Allen?" Lavi whispered, reaching out and taking his right hand gently. "Can you hear me Allen?" The newly red-headed boy stirred slightly, eyes open as he mouthed something. "It's me, Lavi. How're you feeling?" Allen stared blankly at Lavi, gently squeezing his hand before closing his eyes. He was thinner than any of them could have guessed, covered in new scars and wounds that didn't exist before his disappearance. Lavi chuckled wetly as he withdrew, hands shaking as he quietly wheeled himself away. "I don't know what I expected," he whispered to Komui, voice shaky. "He always knew I was faking, always knew when I was acting. I'm glad he didn't trust me as much as he said he did."

"Lenalee, your turn."

Lenalee gulped and moved forward, touching Allen's face softly before tightly gripping his hand. "Allen?" He opened his eyes again, recognition lighting the eye he could see out of. "Can you say my name, Allen?"

"L... lena?"

She smiled, bringing his hand to her face. "Yeah, it's me Allen," she said, her voice thick as tears welled in her eyes. "Can you stay awake?" His mouth twitched, before his eyes closed once more, exhausted. She felt rage and sorrow for her friend. How could God hurt Allen like this, when Allen loved and respected and worked in his name? How could he allow this to happen to one of the most genuine and good people she's ever met? She wanted to scream at the world that it wasn't fair, that it shouldn't have ended up like this, but she knew better. After all, didn't Central teach her years ago that she had a moral obligation to this war, for accidentally synchronizing with Dark Boots? Despite all her suffering because of the Innocence, she still had to fight for it? She set Allen's hand gently, moving away without a word. Words wouldn't do her any good now.

Kanda moved forward, arms crossed. "Oi, Beansprout," he called, voice soft and indifferent, "stop making Lenalee cry, it isn't a good look on you." Allen's eyes cracked open, looking around blindly for Kanda.

"...Idiot Kanda," he slurred, voice soft and nearly silent, "'Lena'd never cry... ov'r me." Allen's eyes didn't fully close, but his good eye was unfocused now, floating off into his own thoughts. Kanda scoffed, tongue clicking as he moved away from the boy. He found it hard to believe that someone like Allen Walker, someone who risked his own life for Kanda to come to terms with his, would ever be brought this low, living at the mercy of others with low chances of healing. He detested the look on the younger male, and his arms burned with the rage he withheld, fighting the urge to go fight enemies that don't exist anymore, leaving behind human enemies.

He felt old hatred for the Order bubble, threatening to encompass his heart again; he pushed it down. There's no reason to get angry at something that won't exist for much longer.

At this, Link stepped forward, arms crossed behind his back as he stood straight, not looking at the dying male. "Walker, it is time to wake up," he said, voice monotone. "You currently have two hundred and three obligations passed on from Cross, two hundred of which are debts and three are promises of labor. Breakfast will be served in a half hour, and you require a bath." Allen groaned quietly, his eyes pulled closed tightly.

"...Two hun'red?" Came his quiet question, voice wobbling as his hand twitched.

"Yes," Link confirmed. "I've calculated that the cumulated debt lands at about one million-." Another groan interrupts Link, and a small, fond smile breaks his façade. "That's all, Walker, you can rest now." Link moved away from the bed, returning to the corner where he was observing.

Johnny moved forward, lips wobbling as he gripped Allen's hand, sobbing. He muttered something unintelligible, but Allen didn't react beyond a soft twitch, his mouth releasing soft snores, only helping to increase the other's sobs before he turned and huddled into Komui's arms, shoulders racking with his cries. Komui just comforted the boy, calling for a quick pause to quiet Johnny down to not disturb Allen. He rubbed circles on his back, Lenalee holding his shoulder, and slowly his sobs trailed into soft hiccups before stopping completely. Komui moved forward, whispering something in the boy's ear. He nodded, standing shakily, and left the room. Allen snored again, his breaths light and huffy as he struggled for air.

 

"He fell asleep," Lenalee murmured, head tilted. "His injuries must really be taking a toll on him then, I can't imagine him purposefully falling asleep, since he probably figured out that we're upset."

Cross scoffed, rolling his eyes. "It's a good thing that he's sleeping. Cursed marks are painful in nature, especially when they're given or removed. When he first got cursed, he couldn't function for months due to pain. If he's sleeping, it means that the removal was when it was supposed to happen instead of forcefully."

"Does this have any part of the illegal magic you know?" Lavi asked, leaning forward in his wheelchair. "What do you even mean by illegal magic? I thought the Church redacted that ban."

"I'm surprised that you weren't taught any magic history, especially regarding dark magic, but maybe my expectations are too high. Illegal magic is anything that goes against the church's values, obviously. Necromancy, Alchemy, Arcane Animating, Blood and Sex magics, anything that creates or subverts Biblical teachings." Cross held out his finger, Timcanpy landing on it. "Timcanpy is a result of Animating. Maria, and subsequently her Innocence, are usable by me due to Arcane Binding. Both of which would have caused me to burn or hang if I wasn't a user of Innocence. The church only redacted the ban on what they consider white magic when I first learned it, so I retaliated by specializing in magic that they could never unban."

Komui tilted his head, brow furrowing. "There's still something that I don't understand about that, General. How could you have used Maria's Innocence with magic? They aren't supposed to be compatible."

"Maria gave me permission to use her body and Innocence. All three of us made a promise to Nea, and her and I made another to Allen when we learned what his was. We would let Nea live again, but Maria and I wanted to make sure that Allen's reincarnation would survive, so we also swore that we would help Allen kill Nea when his revenge was over. And since I used Binding instead of any Necromancy, her Innocence allowed me to use it as long as it could stay with her. If I had used Necromancy," he nodded towards Kanda, "we would basically have had another Second Exorcist project, as Maria didn't die until after they started those experiments. They were, after all, what gave her the idea to keep her promise after death."

"Why were you all so loyal to each other?" Lenalee murmured, fingers messing with her hair. "I still cannot understand your reasoning, Cross Marian."

"Weren't you listening to my story, girl?" He snapped, frowning. "We all loved each other. Not all the same ways or with the same intensity, but we were family. Nea and Mana would've killed for us, and likewise."

"I think its time we return to the task at hand," Link interrupted. "You still have to talk with Walker, General. We can discuss anything else later, Walker requires our primary attention."

"Link is absolutely correct," Komui added, leaning forward, hands linked together. "Marian, if you will?"

 

After another failed attempt by Johnny, who's reaction was much more subdued than his first, Cross moved towards the bed, standing with his arms crossed. The redhead scoffed, standing gracefully, expression carefully neutral. His thoughts were tumultuous, and he desperately wished that Maria was still with him. She was the one who understood emotions and injuries, he was the one who knew how to do what needed to get done, and Allen was always the one who knew how to get them out of trouble, and Mana and Nea were always causing the trouble. It was how they worked, using each others strengths and covering their weaknesses. It was off-putting, like someone had ripped apart his soul, tearing it into five individual pieces, destroying three in the process and nearly destroying the fourth.

And he'll be damned if he allowed fate to destroy another that meant so much to him. He can't bury another body of someone he loved.

"Oi, boy," Cross said as he sat down, leaning forward. "How long are you just going to lay there?" Allen stirred, eyes blinking open and surprisingly clear as he focused on Cross. Lenalee gasped, but both males ignored it. "Who am I dealing with, anyways? Is it Four-Eyes, Red, or Allen?"

"Master," the boy rasped, lifting his hand weakly, blindly. Cross took it. "Not dead?"

"Well, you're not Red at least. Thank God for small mercies." A pause. "No, boy, neither of us are dead," Cross agreed. "You're cutting it close, and the Noah girl that was fond of you was pretty disappointed when I was refusing to die. You've always attracted the weird ones, brat." Allen just huffs, squeezing Cross's hand.

"Road s'not bad..."

"Bloodthirsty people tend to be bad, idiot," Cross said, expression exasperated. "You only think that because she helped you, and looked younger than you. That's not true, you know? She was one of the Noah that Nea failed to kill. She was fond of old you too, wonder why though. You're not that good."

Allen laughed, "Says... the one that slept with Nea."

"What can I say, he was a catch. You and Mana have always had a weird relationship anyways, you can't berate me regarding that, boy."

"True," the boy murmured tiredly. "'Verything hurts. Tired."

"It'll be alright Allen," Cross assured. "You can sleep now. I'll protect you again. Besides, we have more traveling to do once you get better. Maybe I won't even force you to pay off my debts."

"Watch out, Master," Allen whispered, slipping into sleep. "You're starting to sound like a real priest." Cross huffed, running his fingers along the hand in his grip, face fond as he watched the boy succumb to sleep. His other hand reached out, petting Allen's hair before he gently set down the boy's hand. His posture suddenly screamed exhaustion, and he stood languidly, turning to face the shell-shocked viewers in the room.

"Let us confer in the sitting room. You all look like idiots."

 

"What was that?" Lenalee snapped, eyes narrowed. "Allen said that you were a demon to him, why are you two so close now?"

"Lenalee," Komui soothed, setting a hand on her shoulder, "that doesn't matter, does it? If Allen feels safe with him, question it later." She snarled at Komui, and he backed off, raising his hands. "Sorry, General."

"You really think that I was awful to him throughout his entire apprenticeship?" Cross asked, bemused and exhausted. "For such a noble brat, he's fairly troublesome. I should've saw this coming."

"What."

"Allen and I were close, I only did certain things to train him not to trust everyone. Didn't always work, but he definitely learned. He found it funny if he could con people into giving him food or money by weaving a sob story about me, and then I would come in and they would throw more money at me to have me be theirs for the night."

Silence. "So you were a masseur?" Kanda asked, straight-faced. Lenalee and Lavi blink, before bursting into laughter, Lenalee clinging to Komui so she wouldn't fall.

"I prefer the term escort, little General," Cross countered, smirking. "Masseur makes me sound so... unfastidious. Like I would go with anyone." He leaned towards the younger man, winking. "I only like people with money."

Link sighed loudly, drawing the attention of everyone in the room. "Can we please remain on topic?"

"I don't know, Link," Lavi said thoughtfully, "I want to hear more, maybe I can put some details in my book." Link groaned loudly, swiping a hand down his face.

"No, no, Link is right," Komui interrupts, eyeing Cross warily as the man attempted say something. "Today went almost as I expected, though even I was surprised by you Cross. I've decided that we will go with what Cross suggested regarding the safe-houses, and I have his guard planned." He took a breath, looking everyone in the eye. "Cross, you'll be the leader of this mission. With permission, I would like to see if I can make a private channel between Timcanpy and my own communication invention. We'll also have to work out a code, just in case. Kanda and Link, you will be supporting guards. Link, I want you to remain in the shadows or out of the public eye. Kanda and Cross, stay limited regarding the public, but feel free to take on jobs or errands. Blend in, seem like travelers." He took a breath, expression tight. "Lavi, you're going to go as decoy."

"No, brother, Lavi can't go, he's still injured!" Lenalee immediately protested, standing straight. "Send me instead, it'll be safer."

"Lenalee," Komui said gently, "no. We are going to try to play them off as a traveling family with a bodyguard. Didn't you notice how similar they look now that Allen's hair is red? Less questions will be asked." Komui smiled, but the gesture lacked any sort of light. "Besides, I need you here to observe the Exorcists. They look to you for leadership, and I can imagine that they will be distressed without your steadiness. Johnny will be staying as well, and you both will be his guide once we can get Allen's surgeon in Europe."

Lenalee opened her mouth to argue, but was interrupted by Kanda. "Listen to your orders, Lena. Its safer for it to be this way, and you'll have the pleasure of being one of the ones responsible for bringing the man that will save his life to him." She sighed, sitting and slumping into one of the couches.

"Fine," she murmured despondently. "That means I'm trusting you with Allen's and Lavi's lives, Kanda, Link. Don't disappoint me."

"What about me, princess?" Cross sniffed, amused. "No words of encouragement for this old man?" Lenalee just glared at the older male, rolling her eyes at his satisfied smirk.

"General, that does mean you will have to tell us where Campbell Manor is." Komui remarked, eyeing the man with a dangerous glint in his eyes.

"Oh, don't you know? The Campbells are close with the Kamelots, of who reside in..."

"Portugal," both men said; Komui in a whisper and Cross blankly.

"And we're sure we can bring him there after going to this Mother?" Lavi questioned. "The Kamelots are infamous in the government, there's no way we will be able to stay long without word spreading around."

"Trust me," Cross said. "I stayed in the manor for five years and the Order, despite having amazing relations with the nobility of Portugal, never found me. I assume it will be much of the same, as long as Lady Campbell is still alive. And she made her own promise, so I can't imagine that she isn't."

"Well then," Komui said somberly, "I want you all to be packed and ready to leave by nightfall tomorrow. The science division will think of ways to safely transport Allen, which will hopefully be easier with akuma gone. Meeting adjourned." Everyone nods, dispersing, except for Link, who took a seat in a chair in front of the door, giving Cross a withering look when he tried to protest. The man sighed, shaking his head fondly as he moved into the bathroom, ready to shower and rid himself of the filth of memories and regrets that people kept bringing up.

( _And if he broke down the minute the water touched his back, bent over and collapsed on the floor, who's business is it but his? He sobbed around the water, hair soaking and protecting his eyes from the burning water. Link found him like that, exhausted and shivering in the long cold water, but who was he to judge? Cross found him similarly, sobbing like a baby. It was their mutual exchange, after all. They were held together by one person, their friendliness based on just one mutual trust and devotion. But that meant they had to care for each other; it would hurt too much if they didn't_.)

 

The weather was shit, and Kanda immediately regretted agreeing to anything ever in his life. At least, that's what he told himself as rain pounded violently onto the carriage, echoing painfully in the space. The carriage was big, specially made so that Allen would be able to lie down and to store Lavi's wheelchair, while also being big enough that the three men could sit in there with plenty of space. It was large, but considering they were playing at being a wealthy, if ill, family, he supposed it made sense.

Didn't make traveling in it any easier, though.

Cross was sitting with Allen's head on his lap, and was drinking lightly as he watched water race to earth. Lavi was sitting to the left of Kanda, dozing and resting his head on the wall of the carriage. Link was sitting with the finder guided to take them to Mother, Toma if he recalled correctly. He was sure that they were just sitting in silence, but at least they would be awake and alert. He knew his restlessness wasn't necessary, that he could rest too without fear of akuma attacks, but he was paranoid of human attacks. He held no believe that they were perfectly guarded from spies, despite Cross's warding. Central was determined to kill Allen Walker, and that determination made them dangerous.

It also made them obvious, and he would be there to cut up anyone who threatened his mission.

But still, he despaired. Sitting in a carriage with people who relied on him to protect them, as well as the threat of angering Lenalee, made him restless. The smell of wine was saturating the air, and he wanted to groan.

Maybe he did regret all of the decisions he's made.

"For god's sake," Cross muttered, turning to look at Kanda, eye glaring and surprisingly clear, "just take a fucking nap. Your constant moving is going to wake them up, and then we'll have to deal with that." Kanda growled at Cross, arms crossed against his chest.

"You may be the leader of the mission," Kanda said, face pinched, "but we are of the same rank. And excuse me for not getting uselessly drunk. I find it quite useful to not act like an idiot."

Cross just bared his teeth at the younger man, not responding as he took another drink. Kanda glared, holding the redhead's gaze with a stare that was riddled with worry and protective fury. Cross just stared back, amused and just as protective as the silence stretched from seconds to minutes. Suddenly, three knocks jolted them out of their contest.

They've arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'ed.  
> Tumblr: cuneiform-e  
> Twitter: cuneiform_e
> 
> Kudos and comments make me swoon with love and embarrassment.


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